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In and Out of Time

Writer's picture: April AiriApril Airi

I don't know a lot of couples who are like Erich and me.

 

We met in his last year of college before he was commissioned as an officer in the U.S. Marine Corps. What followed were years of entering and exiting each other's lives as we traversed different corners of the globe—in and out, in and out.

 

Delaware, Virginia, Oklahoma, California, Okinawa, Fiji.

 

A stolen weekend here, a summer there. Long drives and plane rides to reach our next crossroad.

 

In and out, in and out.

 

This time, Erich came to Fiji on the 29th of November. We stayed in Airbnbs and introduced him to my village, putting faces to names I've been sharing on Facetime for the past ten months.

 

We exchanged vows not once, but twice—with a civic ceremony in a nearby town and a traditional Fijian wedding in my village. Initially planning a quiet ceremony for just the two of us, an officiant, and two witnesses, we were grateful for the support of our families, eagerly anticipating a reception upon our return to the States.

 

 Yet, with the limited time in my new Fijian family, I find immense gratitude for their enveloping us in their wedding traditions. European church bells gave way to the drumming of the lali,¹ a heavy fabric of masi² instead of a delicate white lace, and the glasses of wine replaced with bilos³ of kava.⁴

 

It was hard for me to accept this gift from my village because it felt undeserved, but I think Fiji has been trying to teach me something important - that love is not something earned but something shared openly between generous hearts.

 

In and out, in and out.

 

Our wedding day, coupled with this lesson, exceeded any expectation I could have imagined for Erich and me.

 

He just left for Okinawa yesterday but not without lolomas⁵ from our village and the recurring question of when he'd be back. We couldn't promise that he would return any time soon, but there's something interesting to ponder here.

 

All of us, humans, animals, and plants alike, are miraculously alive and "in" this moment of time. However, a day will come when we are "out" of it too.

 

My commitment to Erich is to love and cherish him while we are "in" together, a commitment made all the more precious because it won't last forever.

 

In that sense, maybe we are just like every other couple or relationship - striving to experience one another before we're out of time... Deep down though, I like to imagine that my soul would do anything to reunite with Erich, even after death.


In and out, in and out, for the rest of eternity.





 

 

  1. lali -  a traditional wooden drum or gong often used for signaling events, ceremonies, and announcements.

  2. masi - a traditional form of fabric made from the inner bark of certain trees (typically paper mulberry); the designs on the masi can convey cultural information and stories.

  3. bilo - a traditional drinking vessel used in kava circles, typically made from half a coconut shell. (Also, cups in general!)

  4. kava - a beverage made from the root of the yaqona plant; sharing kava in a communal setting with the bilo reinforces social bonds and underscores the importance of community in Fijian culture. 

  5. loloma - refers to love, affection, or the act of loving and is a term that encompasses feelings of warmth, care, and compassion; it's also used as the word 'gift.'

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